so im about a week and a few days off from the school year starting up again. and, unlike the past two years, it will not be happening at my perfered school of choice - but, thats how things happen. so i'll deal with it. suck it up, and have as much fun as i can. not only fun, but im gonna have to kick ass at school, since i'll be in a program that will probably actucally be of use. oh well, i can do it. im still loving the job at petsmart too! so that portion is going great. oh - and for the lastest family developments - my parents want to buy a third car and they want me and my sister to pay for and share the taurus. well... you guys dont know my sister, but one thing you should know about her is that she is a very self-centered kind of person. she's really good at walking all over you. so im kinda fucked in that situation and not so much looking forward to it. dont get my wrong - it'll be great to have a car. it will NOT be great to pay for something that i never get to use. *sigh* this is living back at home.
oh, and im redecorating my bedroom - the walls are like a tan-brown right now - i think i'll keep them. all my furniture has turned out to be black - we just painted my bookshelf black. so now im just looking for some kind of pattern to include. i found some sweet leapard patterned throw pillows that i'm thinking might work. im not sure yet.
and also, the old bfm (thrift store by my house) is back!! and im pretty excited. i spent 10 dollars there and got like.. 4 shirts and 2 old (but working) vhs movies (drive me crazy, and the brady bunch movie LOL)... im pretty much in love with this crocheted turqoise-ee coloured vest thing i got there. it's pretty awesome.
and now i go to bed, because PetSmart needs me at 9am.
life has been pretty dumpy lately. i dont know.. i've just been kinda quiet and depressed and not-wanting-to-leave-the-house. i wonder if having these episodes are ever going to go away... who knows on a brighter note - i finally got a computer desk yesterday, so i have access to half my clothes again (i used to have my computer/stereo/all that shit sitting on a chest i keep my clothes in. and also - i am pretty much IN LOVE with this little black kitten at work. LOVE IT. i transferred over to the Petsmart on Dougall, and I really like that one a lot. everyone i work is GREAT, and its so much quieter and smaller that I get the change to get to know the customers and pet a lot more dogs. .... and, of course, get attached to the cats. ughh, i want to keep them all. but i cant. i got my school schedule for september - its not bad.. basically 9-2 everyday, which i can manage. waking up early is gonna suck, but getting off so early is gonna rock. ughh.. its early - why am i up? goodnight/morning everyone.
So it happens like.. every other week. I've gotten bored of my apperance.. and want to dye my hair again. I'm thinking red this time. It's a bitch to get out, but it looks so good, and it's so much fun. Or maybe I'll go go get my ear pierced or something? Also I've been really wanting a second tattoo since I got the fist one (4 years ago now lol). So maybe that? I want stars on my side. And I also found a really cool picture in a tattoo community on livejournal of a flower that I would really like to get too. But the problem with both of these is that I need to find some way to personalize it. I can't get something on my body that someone else already has on theirs. *sigh* All I know, is that I'm bored and want to do something new and exciting.
i'm really waiting on something good to happen. but... yeah.. i dont think it will. i mean, dont get me wrong, things are going pretty decently for me right now - i have a job, im going back to school (in windsor)... but it just feels like SOMETHING is missing. i dont really know what either. its not like i really want a relationship right now, im ok being single. the physical stuff.. yeah, so maybe i am in need of that a bit. but that CANT be the THING that seems like its missing from my life. i am not that shallow. or i'd like to think that i'm not that shallow. i miss residence. i miss living with a big family or people i love. i mean.. i live with my little family of people i love, but i cant do a lot of the things i did in rez while im living here.
i miss the freedom. and the sleepovers. and the late night-aladin-watching, and eating a lot of suckers, and mashed potatoes, and putting our bathing suits on and running around in the rain.
i miss the morning-after-breakfast-making, having a movie 'theatre', running around the yard in the snow with a bottle of sambucca, and hilltime.
and teatime. i miss teatime. i miss turning on my radio really loud just to bug shawn above me, i miss listening to old school punk and jumping on my bed. i miss hawaiian parties, and rockstar parties, and rave parties, and halloween parties, and mexican parties and 7th grade dance parties.
i miss walking my drunk friends home after they get kicked out of pub, i miss those first nice days of spring when everyone congregated on the road to throw some balls around, i miss breaking the rules, and i miss being liked enough for them not to care about the rules i was breaking. i miss camping chairs in our kitchens, and skillets on the floor. i miss forgetting to drain the mac'n'cheese.
i just miss it. i really do. it sucks because it was my home. for two years. and i've never felt more at home, then i did there.
I don't write in here anymore. Like, at all. I wish I did. But whatever, I've been busy... being back home. I got a job at PetSmart and it is a pretty good job. I am a cashier, but I get to pet dogs that come in all day so that's really nice. It's only part-time, but thats ok, I'm just SO grateful to have gotten a job within a month of moving back here. Um.. other then that.. uhh... nothing really has been up. I still get bored easily, and I still miss living on my own SO. MUCH. I am certainly in the market to move out once I've been paid a few times. Lost my cell phone at The Loop the other night. But me losing my cell is not unusual anymore. I'm pretty used to it. So I did what I always do, and wasted money on a new one. My mother convinced me to join her gym with her. It's ok, I guess. I mean.. I'm not all hardcore into it (and definately never will be), but going a few times a week certainly won't be bad for me. Oooohh! And today: I bought bra's that fit! And that's a beautiful thing since it's probably been like 2 years since I bought any.
Well, here I am. Back home. Sleeping across the hall from my parents. It's nice... I guess. I mean, it's great to hang out with old friends. Not really old friends, but friends that I havent been enough of in the last two years. But I feel like all my independance has been brutually torn from me. I am no longer a women that's turning 22. I am a girl that gets treated like she's 12. **sigh** It just motivates me even more to get a job so I can get a house/apartment/living arounds that don't include my parents. Yesterday me and Tuan and Joel ventured into the village of peace signs, Romeo, Michigan to see a show, which was super fun. Well... you know me and any type of live music I can get my hands on. We had a great time. And then we went to some super sketchy pizza place right near 8 mile and the pizza was really good, despite the fact that I think there was mosquitoes cooked into it. Tonight the three of us went to the movies. How I missed cheap movie night. The Silvercity losers in Ancaster never had cheap Tuesdays... or cheap any-nights, which mad me super sad. So we went to see The Strangers (which was not nearly as scary as the commericals make it out to be) and the new Chronicles of Narnia movie (which is pretty decent, but so much fun to make fun of). And we ate a lot of popcorn. With cinnimon and sugar on it. I do miss Hamilton already. I liked that city. It really wasnt too much differant then Windsor, but it was still nice to have my independance there. But I think living back in Windsor is gonna be just fine. I really do. Next stop, however... finding a job here.... not so easy. Im going out with resumes tommorrow... so... we will see what that brings. Wish me luck!
well, i am back in hamilton after a weekend in windsor.
today was the last time my parents will drop me off and leave me here :( i move back into my parents home on june 1st. and not only do i move into there home, i move into the room across the hallway from them.
oh well, i have plans to get a full-time job then bolt out of there anyways. after two years of living on my own in college residence (where everything my parents dont want happening, happen), its going to be incredibly difficult living across the hall from them. its just hard cuz they are totally neat-freaks and i cant stand things being so clean. am im loud - i like/need my music, which they dont like too much. and i drink too much. oh well. maybe this winter i will breathe a little better, becasue i won't be smoking so much pot. everyone at home seems to have passed that stage (meanwhile i was into it worse then ever this past semester at mohawk). i will miss it.
i only work for another week at no frills. its been a decent job - just very physically demanding. lifting 70 pound boxes 15 times a day is not so much fun. nope. it hurts. i also need to de-fatt-ify myself. i gained far too much weight while i was here eating chips and smoking weed. so i need to get myself healthy again. and i will, because i always do. when i put my mind to things, anything can happen.
so, there are things that will be good about moving back home. better habits and stuff. and seeing old friends. i miss the windsor group dearly sometimes. and its pretty good that most of them have grown up. i mean.. we are all adults now. as scary is it is to admit - we are real, true adults. my mom was married and pregnant with me at my age. not something i want right now, but something i do sincerly want in the future. and that scares me. a lot. but i will miss hamilton. and my hamilton friends. i see MANY road trips in the future.
&ps. anyone who lives in windsor... know of any workplaces that are hiring and suitable for full-time work? (as i am not going back to school in sept.)... maybe i will look around and try to find something i can go with the journalism diploma i have, but, that rules my options out to... nothing. so im pretty stuck. i hate my ability to get no-use dimplomas and get bored when i am in useful diploma programs and then drop out.
so i am in london at sara d's place. i worked all week last week *35 hours* and i am utterly exhausted, but i still decided to come party it up. we sorta did. well, we had some drinks last night and then went to the bars in london. and it's pretty much official that i am too old for bars in places like london and windsor (cuz i was in windsor last week). hamilton bars still seem to be ok. at least the last couple of times i've gone out i have had a good time.
i am at sara apartment right now, she is working. then when she gets off work we are heading down the 401 to windsor. since she has a car and is going i figured it would be an excellent idea to stop by home for mothers day. then we drive back here tommorrow afternoon so i can get on a bus heading back to hamilton at 8:30. sometimes i wish hamilton wasnt so out of the way.
as for my living arrangments as of september - i still have no idea. i would LOVE to stay in hamilton, but it is so bloody expensive. plus, i would need to find a better job. no frills is great for part-time, but to work full-time there i think is going to be way too physically exhausting. there are some people in both hamilton and windsor that i have arranged to look for apartments with. but if i move back home that presents the problem of having to find a job in windsor. is finding a job in windsor still comparable to finding the devil in heaven? i dont know, but i do know that it really isnt easy.
i dont know. i wish i did. it just sucks because hamilton feels like home. and windsor never really did. either way, i will still be on my own and not living with my parents, which is great. not that i hate them, more that we just cant live under the same roof. i just view life differately then they do. not that they raised me bad or anything, definately nothing like that. just different views, and it would not be pretty living under the same roof - espeically after me living away for two years. and my mom totally understnds and is totally cool with me getting an apartment or house with someone in windsor too. although, i would really like living in the same city as my parents. i would get to use there car if i need it (ie. grocery shopping)... i would get to SEE them, which i rarely do when i am in hamilton)... you know all that stuff.